


The Weird and Awesome Adventures of Jace & Magnus

by kuro1neko2kun



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Magnus and Jace are not friends, Mostly Gen, fill for shadowhunters ficathon, how do they get themselves into these situations, mostly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2016-03-03
Packaged: 2018-05-24 10:52:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6151227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuro1neko2kun/pseuds/kuro1neko2kun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You're the worst."</p><p>"No, you're the worst!"</p><p>"Yeah? Well, you're worser than the worst, how's that?"</p><p>"Do they not teach proper grammar in Shadowhunter academies these days?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Weird and Awesome Adventures of Jace & Magnus

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for [Shadowhunters Ficathon](http://ladygawain.livejournal.com/83265.html?page=3)

Jace looks at Magnus sidelong. 

"So… which of you is the girl?" Maybe he shouldn't have volunteered to stay with the warlock.

"Why Jace, I didn't know you cared." The way Magnus was looking at him was freaking him out a little, "Or are you jealous?"

"I- What- No! Why would you even…?"

Magnus grins, "For the record, the answer is neither. That's kind of the point."

Jace rolls his eyes. "Fine, whatever, don't answer. Are we going to do this thing or not?" 

They're currently crouched in a dark alley, about to enter the back room of a mundie club to check for the warlock Magnus has been looking for. Not the most glamourous place to wait, and Jace would be annoyed, except he promised Clary he would behave, and she'd made those damn eyes at him. So he stood and caught the door when the waiter stepped out, slipping invisibly into the long hallway and waiting a moment for Magnus to catch up.

~

"We're never going to speak of this again." Jace is covered in green slime and as he walks, a glob slides into his boot. He grimaces and glances back at Magnus, who doesn't seem at all perturbed by the veritable bath of glitter he went through. Not that the man doesn't regularly shed glitter wherever he goes anyway, but you'd think he'd still react to being completely coated in the stuff. He looked like a human (shaped anyway) disco ball.

"Oh, I think not, Shadowhunter," Magnus seemed to have the disturbing ability to sound amused at everything Jace said, "I, for one, will be telling Alec about this the moment we get back. Maybe I'll tell Clary and her mundie boy toy so we can all get in a proper laugh."

"Don't you dare." Jace pauses at the entrance to the alley, glaring fiercely at the warlock.

"Darling, that would have more of an effect if you weren't dripping." Magnus was practically laughing at him.

"Oh shut up."

 

____

 

Magnus laughs as Jace attempts to cut himself out of a fishing net with a seraph blade. The nixie they'd been trailing joins him in laughter from a corner of the clearing they're in as Jace snarls.

"You'd have more luck if you did that one strand at a time," Leaning back against a tree, Magnus crosses his arms to watch the spectacle.

"You can't be helpful for once and just magic me out?"

"That wouldn't be nearly as entertaining!" Magnus grinned as Jace bares his teeth at him and goes back to sawing at the ropes.

"You're awful. Next time I see Alec I'm definitely pointing out all of your flaws." Jace finally frees himself and they hear a whoosh, the nixie disappearing in a cloud of faerie dust, "Dammit."

"You can try, but I'm perfect." Magnus turns to head out of the clearing, making Jace scramble to catch up, "Can I go home now, Shadowhunter? Our quarry is gone and you're starting to smell."

"One of these days I'm going to 'accidentally' stab you." Jace tries to sniff himself surreptitiously.

"I'd threaten to turn you into a toad, but that's a little old school." Magnus grins and they disappear out of the clearing, sniping at each other along the way.

 

____

 

"How did I get stuck with you again?" Magnus eyes the Shadowhunter behind him with distaste, "I swear I asked for the attractive one and they sent me you instead."

"You're impossible." Jace groans.

"I think you mean improbable," with a grin, Magnus snaps his fingers to conjure himself a chair, leaving Jace to pace as they wait, "Seriously though, you'd think the clave would know who I wanted to accompany me, since I agreed to do this for them."

"I can't believe Alec gets to sit in on council and I have to watch you to make sure you don't steal any of the silverware."

"Excuse you, I have much better taste in silverware than you Shadowhunters. You've had the same weapons since the 1700s." Magnus slouches in his chair, glancing at the door separating them from the council chambers. When he'd agreed to present the evidence on Valentine to the clave, he hadn't been expecting to be treated like a criminal as he did it. 

Goes to show how attitudes like Valentine's (and to a lesser extend the Lightwoods' parents) had come out of the glass city. 

"Guns are useless against demons, and you're just jealous our blades are flashier than you could ever hope to be." Jace rolls his eyes and Magnus sneer back at him.

"At least I can tell the difference between extinct and rare."

"That was one time!" Jace squares off against him, "You're the worst."

"No you're the worst!"

"Yeah? Well, you're worser than the worst, how's that?"

"Do they not teach proper grammar in Shadowhunter academies these days?"

"Oh be quiet."

Just then, the door to the council chamber opens, cutting their argument short. Magnus glimpses Alec's blue eyes and cheers up, banishing the chair as he flounces into the chamber, Jace following along like a particularly annoying shadow.

 

____

 

They're stuck together again, this time literally. With glue. Because Jace is an idiot. Seriously. Magnus glares at him sidelong. 

"I'm not helping you anymore."

"Well how was I supposed to know it would work that fast?" Jace tries to shrug and Magnus pinches him.

"Maybe the word _instant_ on the package? Or are you incapable of reading? Just another thing you didn't learn in Shadowhunter academy…" Unfortunately for everyone involved, magic can't fix anything, and 400 years of life have not prepared Magnus for getting stuck holding hands with the stupidest Shadowhunter he'd ever met. He tries to grab his cell phone and Jace's hand pulls back, making him drop it, "I'm calling your parabatai. At least then I'll have something nice to look at while I try to figure this out. And mark my words, I will get you back for this."

"Look, just-" Jace tries to help and they end up overreaching, moving together in some bizarre parody of a dance, both hands stuck together, "Here-" They manage to grab the phone and Magnus rolls his eyes.

"Oh wonderful," He unlocks his phone with difficulty and scrolls through his contacts for Alec's number, setting his phone to speaker.

" **Hi, you've reached Alec Lightwood. Please leave a message with your name and number after the tone. If you are calling for official Clave business, please send a fire message.** "

Magnus groans and Jace shrugs.

"Call Clary?" He tries to scroll through Magnus's contacts and is smacked in the face by his own hand.

"I'm calling Simon." Magnus uses his other hand to tap Simon's number.

" **Hello?** " Simon's voice is tinny.

"Simon? I'm stuck to an idiot with crazy glue." 

" **Magnus…?** " Jace elbows him.

"Hey Simon, do you know how to remove crazy glue?"

"Um. Hang on. Let me ask Clary." Jace points at the phone as if to say they should have just called Clary in the first place, and Magnus rolls his eyes at him. Clary's voice comes across over the phone.

" **Mom used to use acetone to unstick my fingers…** "

"Acetone?" Jace has a confused look on his face and Magnus wishes he could take a picture.

" **You can probably use nail polish remover. I'm assuming Magnus has some.** " Simon's back on the phone.

"I usually just use magic to get it off." Magnus frowns. With his fingers stuck, he can't actually poof anything right now. His phone beeps with a call waiting, "Hang on you guys." He presses accept and Alec's voice comes through.

" **Magnus? Did you call me?** " 

"Alec, sweet pea," Magnus smiles, and shoots a quick glare at Jace for his eye rolling, "Are you busy right now?"

" **Um. No, I was just doing some training, but Jace is missing so… What's up?** " 

"Oh I see how it is, I'm not there and you feel like you can slack o--ouf," Jace grunts as Magnus elbows him in the gut.

" **Jace? Why are you at Magnus's place?** "

"Well I may have broken something and…" Magnus scoffs.

"Lover boy over here broke his girlfriend's favourite mug and wanted help fixing it."

" **Everyone tells you not to play with weapons in the kitchen-** "

"It's not my fault! I-"

"Not to break up this entertaining scolding, but Alec, I need you to buy some nail polish remover and come over."

" **Nail polish remover…?** "

"Yes. We need it."

" **What could you possibly… never mind. I'll be there in fifteen.** "

The phone cuts off and Magnus hangs up on Simon.

 

____

 

Magnus hears Jace's cursing from clear across the Institute, and he grins at Alec's inquisitive look.

"What…?" 

"Don't worry dear, your parabatai is just getting a taste of sweet, sweet revenge." Alec quirks an eyebrow as Magnus kisses him on the cheek.

"I take it you had something to do with that?"

Magnus just giggles.

Alec rolls his eyes and stands, leaving Magnus on the couch to go check on Jace. Magnus follows him down the corridors, practically giggling the whole way.

A string of curses echoes through the hallway and Magnus raises an eyebrow. Some of those things are probably anatomically impossible. Alec slows as they reach the door to Jace's room.

"MAGNUS!!" A towel clad Jace rushes out of his room, running right into Alec.

Magnus rolls his eyes at the melodrama and pulls Jace off of his boyfriend, laughing at the glittery impression that Jace's clumsiness left.

"What…?" Alec tries to brush the glitter off (unsuccessfully).

"What did you do to my shower?!" Jace is shining like a multicoloured disco ball in the Institute's lighting, glitter spread all over his chest and matted in his hair. Magnus grins.

"Don't you like it? I mean, sure, not _everyone_ can pull off glitter like me, but it does brighten up everyone's life." 

"Jace?" Isabelle appears at the end of the hallway then, stopping in shock at the sight of her adopted brother, then turns to Magnus with barely suppressed laughter, "What did you do?"

"Revenge is a dish best served cold, Jonathan." Magnus waves a glittery hand and snaps a picture with his phone.


End file.
